Why Katie Ain’t No Role Model

Princess Kate, what an amazing role model for the young, modern woman. She’s so poised and lovely. Her style is flawless. She’s just inspiring. Are you kidding me? I just vomited in my mouth and you just pissed on a suffragette’s grave.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m OBSESSED with her clothes too – her stylist is the bomb freakn’ shizzle and makes beige look stylish and oh-so-chic. Plus that chunky baby is to die for.

I’m diggin’ the newly re-branded Royal Family and their ‘modern monarchy’ approach. It’s a brilliant marketing strategy combined with some killer PR tactics. I mean, Kate even does her own groceries; they’re totally just like us, if by ‘us’ we were all privileged, right wing and government funded elitists.

The hoopla around Princess Kate saddens me and I have no shame in saying that the current royal frenzy and upsurge in popularity for the monarchy makes my heart a little sad.

Kate is everything I hope not to be. She’s the ultimate stepford wife who simply married up. She found her power by playing a semi-mute, plastic princess who maintains a dignified – yet warm – composure at social functions.

It’s anything but inspiring.

Inspiring isn’t a Disney fairytale. It isn’t beautiful clothes, great hair and the promise of happy-ever-after. Kate doesn’t inspire me. Being a Princess is a privilege not a job. Being defined by who you married and what you wore sounds like a curse rather than a blessing.

I’d prefer the ‘young modern woman’ to have role models with slightly more depth, character and just an ounce more personality. Inspiring should be big, dirty and colorful. It should represent the women who juggle their families and careers (without the nanny), who hustle and aren’t afraid to challenge ideas and take risks.

Princess Kate does nothing of the sort. At best she’s a great representation of traditional values and right wing conservatism at worst she just perpetrates a notion that your value can be accurately measured by your marital status and ability to push out babies all whilst working a great pair of beige pumps.

Sorry, I am the anti-princess asshole but I’m just not sold on this fairytale.